Hello Mind Space Community!
Today we are going to talk to about all things processes. I worked hard this month in putting together a workshop based around the 5 pillars every negative process has and was privileged to deliver it to attendees via zoom and also face to face. YES MY FIRST FACE TO FACE WORKSHOP!
My learnings as a strategic psychotherapist through IAP has allowed me to gain knowledge intro a framework specific to the college itself known as G.I.C.A- globalisation, internal orientation, ineffective compartmentalization, and low tolerance for ambiguity alas the pillars of negative processes built on the foundation of external locus of control.
So, what are all these labels?
Globalisation- is in the form of language used such as always, never, can’t, all, an example I hear through my door on a near daily basis is I always have anxiety, I am never going to get out of this depression, and you get the drift. It is taking one momentary experience and turning it into a never-ending thing. One bad relationship leads to all men being untrustworthy, one failed friendship means all friends will leave. It is an accumulation of unfiltered experiences which lead to us creating these globalisations to feel comfortable in a predictable life, but how valid is that?
Internal orientation- All the voices, ruminating, storing, possibilities upon possibilities that go around and around in your mind to no end. The over analysis which leaves you debilitated; it is believing what is imagined even if it isn’t what is being experienced in reality. Have you ever stopped to ask if all those thoughts are valid, let alone useful and if they are in what order of usefulness do they fall under because I don’t believe all worst-case scenario thinking is at number 1 on the list.
Ineffective compartmentalization- follows on from the above and one’s inadequacy around what we like to call “parking” a thought. We have 60,000 plus thoughts a day and overthinkers, anxiety sufferers, depression sufferers do not know which ones to give airtime to and which ones to park. There is a gap in identifying which thoughts and feelings are valid and which ones aren’t furthermore leading to a gap of what actions to take, resulting in the same unhealthy circle of being stuck.
Low tolerance for ambiguity- this is low tolerance for the unknown, remember earlier how I was talking about individuals seeking predictability which then equals comfort. This goes hand in hand with that, our mind searches for predictability by filling in the gaps of information, behaviour or skills with what ifs, possibly, and maybe scenarios but what would be far more effective is to ask the right questions, seek clarity, and take action on the areas of information you are lacking a understanding on or full insight into rather than filling in the gaps with imagined possibility.
So, what sits as the foundation of all these pillars?
EXTERNAL LOCUS OF CONTROL!
You know when you decide everything outside of you needs to change for you to, perhaps you need to move to another state, perhaps your children just need to stop, perhaps your boss needs to be nicer, or perhaps your partner needs to change all together for you to be ok. It is giving everything outside of you power thus leaving you powerless to take control of your own life, your own thoughts feelings and behaviours. You have allowed the better version of you to be contingent on everything out of your control to change and you wonder why you have been waiting so long… Pretty absurd when you put it like that right?
This is a brief insight into the life changing work I am privileged to deliver to the community of women I work with be it in my women’s group or through my clientele.
I will share below some feedback I received from the recent workshop and you will see for yourself what you have been missing out on 😊
